[It may be pointless for Eggsy to ever try and convince Roxy to actually look out for her wellbeing. It's the pot calling the kettle black, of course, because he's always been about throwing himself headlong into danger. Eggsy is a thrill seeker by nature. The more that his life is at stake, the better of a time he has. He wouldn't ever impose that on someone else, but ever since Roxy jumped out of that plane on his tail, she's been right there with him.
He's not sure how those SUVs actually caught up with them, but they're close enough to shoot out the back window (of course it had been too much to hope that this car had any kind of real armoring). Eggsy swears under his breath as he lowers his head enough to avoid the bullets but not so much that he can't see through the windshield.
Yes, they're going to have to return fire and try to shoot out the drivers if they're going to have a prayer of losing them, and so with a click of his tongue Eggsy shifts his arm enough that Roxy can reach into his coat for the extra gun and bullets.
It's not like he's in much position to be using it right now, with all of his attention focused on driving, so fine.
His head snaps to look at her.] I'm gonna fling the car 'round so that your window's facing the first one of those wankers, got it? It'll give you a head-on shot but you've gotta be quick. [She will be, Eggsy already knows that. He stomps on the pedal, trying to put as much distance between them and the SUV before he tries something so risky. The good part is, those idiots shouldn't be expecting it -- they won't know what hit them.]
( she's got her own gun, of course. they'd both gone into this mission with all the proper kingsman trappings — from signet rings to silk ties to standard issue pistols to high tech glasses — but with both hands on the wheel and concentration on flinging cars (jesus christ) eggsy was a little preoccupied, and roxy... well, roxy had been top of the class, had exceptional marksmanship scores, and after an appropriate stint in the military, was arguably a bit of a gun nut. she meticulously cleaned her sniper rifles after every use and had yet to fail a mission that called for long range shooting. given then she was usually stationary and on top of a building where all she had to worry about was wind calculation; in the middle of a car chase there were too many variables to consider (basically so much shit that could go wrong) so obviously double fisting it was the best option.
armored cars, by definition, were reinforced motor vehicles. they ranged from everything to bank cars to tanks, and when their design was applied to more classic street cars, it left them with reinforced grills, bulletproof glass, and special tire coverings to deflect bullets. neigh unstoppable to someone who hadn't read a textbook worth of information on how to take one down. their training had been thorough and roxy had come away with a profound new sense of self and the knowledge that there was no such thing as bulletproof glass. )
Please don't kill us, ( is her only response. then roxy's turning in her seat, rolling down her window (no need to make a mess of their car), and when eggsy swerves the car she grunts with the energy it takes to stay upright under the effects of such powerful inertia. whiplash was a very real possibility here, but not today, motherfucker. the shotgun shells are for messy close range situations, and they're close enough that the glass spider webs quite spectacularly. there's no way for the driver to see around that, and the distressed shooter gets sloppy. he's dead with a clean shot to the head, and on the road getting run over by the second car in a spectacularly gory fashion.
that's one suv down, but there's another quick to swerve around it. there's yet another rat-tat-tat spray of bullets as the front end of their car catches up with the back and they make a screeching, spectacular turn around the corner. ) One down, ( she reports rather unnecessarily (he was there, he saw it) and reloads a shot gun cartriage. in her ear, merlin distractedly shares that he recommends against hand grenades, especially in this densely populated an area. ) Understood. ( impressive, eggsy. and roxy snorts, but yes, that had been rather dramatic and exciting. she'd have to stop giving him grief about his driving if they made it out of here alive. )
Anymore bright ideas? They'll be expecting that if we try again.
[Eggsy had learned his lesson about bulletproof glass during his first ever mission as a full-fledged Kingsman. He would have bet his life that the glass that had been protecting Valentine in his little room would be bulletproof, and yet he'd been desperate enough to aim his machine gun at it anyway. As it turns out, putting enough pressure on any kind of glass will weaken it to the point that a prosthetic blade leg can break right through it.
Sometimes he realizes just how insane his life is -- but most of the time he's too busy trying not to die to even reflect on it.
With Roxy wielding both guns, they may actually have a chance at this. If not, then Eggsy is willing to break out his hand grenade, though trying to aim one at a moving vehicle is going to take some calculations -- and so he files it away as a last resort. He knows that Roxy would accuse him of searching for any reason to blow something up, but the way he sees it, they've got to get their pursuers off their arse somehow.
Eggsy has enough confidence in his driving skills that he hardly breaks a sweat as he sends the car around, giving Roxy the shot that she needs. She doesn't hesitate to destroy the windshield of the SUV and take out the driver on top of it. Eggsy can't actually look for long enough to see the guy get run over, but he definitely hears it and lets out a victorious whoop that might be considered in bad taste, seeing how he's cheering someone's death and all. Still, it's just another day in the life of a Kingsman for him.
Of course, of course Merlin chimes in then and has to rain on his parade about the hand grenade idea. It's almost like he read his fucking mind, and it's creepy how he can do that. But fine -- they're doing well enough without the use of explosives.
At Roxy's question, Eggsy nods because she's right. Repeating a trick like that will only get them killed.] Just got to out-drive them, right? If I'm tight enough with my corners, we could get 'em to crash all on their own. [Or Eggsy could lead them off the edge of an overpass, if they can get up onto one, but that's probably treading too far into the realm of utterly ridiculous and unnecessary.
The next tiny alley that Eggsy spots, he turns at the absolute last second and then barrels down it at full speed. There is the risk that he'll crash instead, but he's going to trust that he's more practiced with this kind of driving than the people chasing them.]
( she doesn't sound all that thrilled about the idea, and somehow manages a disinterested monotone mid-car chase. but it's their best chance without mass civilian casualities — and honestly? it doesn't look like their pursuers didn't seem to have the same reservations about the unnecessary loss of life, she heard quite a few screams from pedestrians as they went — and they'd have to roll with it, despite her trepidation.
they clear the first corner; all of them. there's another spray of gun fire against the back of their car, and after a rather put upon groan as inertia crushes down on them and flings roxy against the car door as the tires screech, she's unravvling her hand from the seatbelt and on the move again; clamboring into the back seat amoungst the shattered glass and bullet casings to reload and return fire.
and in some ways the back seat is better! back here, she can brace her feet against the seats and door and doesn't slide quite as much when they take sharp corners. ) A little tighter! ( she shouts back at eggsy, after their third wild turn has one of the larger vehicles skidding against a brick wall so severely that sparks flew. )
[It may be late into the night, but it's not so late that there aren't a few people still out and about, people who could end up dead if he doesn't do his job right. Plenty of missions involve some risk of civilian casualties, and they're always expected to prioritize keeping those numbers at a low. Honestly, Eggsy does what he can to keep it at zero, because his job already involves killing -- he doesn't need to add that kind of guilt onto it.
(Then again, what could ever surpass his first mission? So many people tore each other apart even in the small amount of time that Valentine's signal was active. And Eggsy has been told that it would have been so much worse if he hadn't succeeded, but it doesn't always feel like much of a victory.)
Roxy's got a better shot at the pursuing vehicles in the back seat, but it also means that it will be easier for them to shoot her, and so Eggsy is determined to get this sorted as soon as possible. He hears one of the SUVs as it crashes into a wall, even catches a glimpse of the wreckage in his rearview mirror, but they've got a few more to go.]
I'm trying! [He hisses the words back to Roxy as he drives like an absolute madman, hands slipping on the steering wheel as he searches for another confusing maze of streets to tear through. Thankfully, London has its fair share of those. Soon enough he's whipping the car through a series of tight turns. Struck with a bit of inspiration from another car chase he'd been in, after rounding one corner he suddenly puts the car into reverse and floors it, sending them backward in the other direction down the alley.
If they're lucky, that will confuse at least a few of these idiots. It also puts Roxy out of harm's way for a bit, which Eggsy considers a plus.]
( one second they're driving normally and she's ducking bullets and sparingly returning fire as their ammunition stocks dwindle. then there's a grinding deceleration, the screech of tires, and they've stopped and started off in the opposite direction — backwards.
it's jarring. roxy roll back onto the seat covered in glass (there's going to be an incredible amount of scratches and minor cuts on her forearms and face after this adventure; he might have some tendon damage with how hard he's clutching that steering wheel, and they'll both have some level of whiplash) and spends a solid thirty seconds trying to pick herself up and clambor into something resembling a sitting position. she favors eggsy with a look between reprimand — i had that — and disbelief. then sets about being her... not bossy, but vocal self. )
I'm running out of bullets.
( which would have been a significantly bigger problem if one of the last two cars on the arses hadn't hit something in their surprise of the change of pace. it was probably glass or sharp metal, because the tires go out with a loud pop, and they crash into a some heavy garbage cans. the last black vehicles can't get past, and immediately makes to reverse, probably circle around the block. it's a blessing and curse.
merlin rumbles in their ears about an extraction point, and roxy pants — ) Understood, sir. ( — and tries to navigate. ) We should get out of the city. Out of the alley and a mile west, Eggsy.
[They're down to one last SUV on their tail (or not, since it has to reroute and Eggsy would probably have made some cocky remark in its general direction if he wasn't so busy) and now they're going to leave the city? Eggsy believes that he can lose this one last pursuer with little to no problem, but there isn't time for arguing with Merlin's orders.
Besides, if he's honest about it, this has been more than enough excitement for one night. His hands are sore and raw from holding onto the steering wheel so hard, but the pain is muted by the adrenaline coursing through him.
So after only a few seconds of hesitation, Eggsy nods at Roxy while looking in his rearview. They back out of the alley and he spins them around again so he can drive normally once more.]
West, is it? [There's a built in compass in the rearview mirror which Eggsy glances at to get his bearings before starting in the correct direction. He doesn't go too fast now, not wanting the screech of burning rubber to alert that one car still after them.
Once they're on a straightaway, he risks glancing over his shoulder at Roxy.] Didn't get shot, did you? [It's not like he'd been able to keep the best track of her during that whole mess, and Roxy is the type who wouldn't mention it until they were out of immediate danger.]
Didn't get shot, ( she echoes by way of affirmation. which is true! sure, there'd been close calls, a couple bullets glancing off various parts of their car and ricocheting so close to her face that she'd felt the air as they whizzed by. and sure, her exposed forearms were covered in small cuts from the shattered safety glass. there's also a pretty long scratch on her jawline, and a rapidly congealing bubble of blood making its way down her neck, but she's had worse nicks with a leg razor. a couple of bumps and bruises are to be expected in their line of work, it almost wouldn't feel like a real mission if she didn't get fussed over in medical after.
there's a few more cautious glances through the busted back window for their friend, then roxy returns to the front seat with as much grace as she can manage and stares at eggsy with the appropriate amount of awe. )
[Cuts and bruises are so common that Eggsy doesn't even ask about those. They're partners, which means that they will always have each other's backs, but they don't have to act like one another's parents. (Which isn't to say that it doesn't happen from time to time, on both ends.)
A gunshot wound would be something they had to handle immediately, but anything more minor than that can wait until their debrief.
They're not out of the woods yet, but for now everything is calm enough, at least compared to how it had been a minute or two ago. Which must be why Roxy figures she has the opportunity to ask him a question. Eggsy keeps his eyes on the road as he answers.]
Had a few mates whose families owned cars. We... may have driven 'em when their parents were off on holiday. That was the start of it. I got some more practice during my marines training.
[Not as part of the training, mind you, but it had certainly opened up a few opportunities for him.]
in the middle of a car chase and roxy is overcome with breathy, disbelieving giggles for about ten solid seconds. call it an inappropriate display of adrenaline now that she's not channeling her energy towards perfect kill shots and not dying. the threat of the last van is still very real and, logically, she knows that. but now that they can't see it and are being directed to make a break for the french countryside, it almost feels like they've gotten off. )
You could be a stunt driver for movies if you ever get tired of saving the world and risking your life.
( only irony's a bitch. )
But I imagine they'd make you wear your seatbe —
( they pull into an intersection and she registers the headlights behind eggsy's profile before she really hears what merlin is roaring in their ears. )
[Eggsy can't see what's so funny about it, honestly, but he figures that it has a lot to do with the adrenaline that's coursing through both of them, and so he lets it slide. Being a stunt driver wouldn't be so bad and would still involve some sense of danger, but he doubts he'll ever do it. He's seen the other Knights, all of them with at least twenty years on him and Roxy, and he realizes that is a job you do for life.
Either that, or you die young.
His life flashes before his eyes when he registers that they're about to be hit, and there's nothing he can do, no time. He still does what he can, wrenching the wheel to the side to try and swerve out of the way, but it's impossible to completely avoid the collision as the SUV slams into the driver's door.
Eggsy does in fact have his seatbelt on, and that's the only reason that he's not thrown out of his seat, though his body does whip to the side from the impact.] Shit! [He slams his foot down on the gas, doing everything he can to get them the hell away from the other car. His head's ringing and his shoulders ache like he's most certainly pulled something, but he can't stop and catalog his injuries right now.]
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He's not sure how those SUVs actually caught up with them, but they're close enough to shoot out the back window (of course it had been too much to hope that this car had any kind of real armoring). Eggsy swears under his breath as he lowers his head enough to avoid the bullets but not so much that he can't see through the windshield.
Yes, they're going to have to return fire and try to shoot out the drivers if they're going to have a prayer of losing them, and so with a click of his tongue Eggsy shifts his arm enough that Roxy can reach into his coat for the extra gun and bullets.
It's not like he's in much position to be using it right now, with all of his attention focused on driving, so fine.
His head snaps to look at her.] I'm gonna fling the car 'round so that your window's facing the first one of those wankers, got it? It'll give you a head-on shot but you've gotta be quick. [She will be, Eggsy already knows that. He stomps on the pedal, trying to put as much distance between them and the SUV before he tries something so risky. The good part is, those idiots shouldn't be expecting it -- they won't know what hit them.]
/bullshits about armored cars
armored cars, by definition, were reinforced motor vehicles. they ranged from everything to bank cars to tanks, and when their design was applied to more classic street cars, it left them with reinforced grills, bulletproof glass, and special tire coverings to deflect bullets. neigh unstoppable to someone who hadn't read a textbook worth of information on how to take one down. their training had been thorough and roxy had come away with a profound new sense of self and the knowledge that there was no such thing as bulletproof glass. )
Please don't kill us, ( is her only response. then roxy's turning in her seat, rolling down her window (no need to make a mess of their car), and when eggsy swerves the car she grunts with the energy it takes to stay upright under the effects of such powerful inertia. whiplash was a very real possibility here, but not today, motherfucker. the shotgun shells are for messy close range situations, and they're close enough that the glass spider webs quite spectacularly. there's no way for the driver to see around that, and the distressed shooter gets sloppy. he's dead with a clean shot to the head, and on the road getting run over by the second car in a spectacularly gory fashion.
that's one suv down, but there's another quick to swerve around it. there's yet another rat-tat-tat spray of bullets as the front end of their car catches up with the back and they make a screeching, spectacular turn around the corner. ) One down, ( she reports rather unnecessarily (he was there, he saw it) and reloads a shot gun cartriage. in her ear, merlin distractedly shares that he recommends against hand grenades, especially in this densely populated an area. ) Understood. ( impressive, eggsy. and roxy snorts, but yes, that had been rather dramatic and exciting. she'd have to stop giving him grief about his driving if they made it out of here alive. )
Anymore bright ideas? They'll be expecting that if we try again.
shhhhh bs is the rp way
Sometimes he realizes just how insane his life is -- but most of the time he's too busy trying not to die to even reflect on it.
With Roxy wielding both guns, they may actually have a chance at this. If not, then Eggsy is willing to break out his hand grenade, though trying to aim one at a moving vehicle is going to take some calculations -- and so he files it away as a last resort. He knows that Roxy would accuse him of searching for any reason to blow something up, but the way he sees it, they've got to get their pursuers off their arse somehow.
Eggsy has enough confidence in his driving skills that he hardly breaks a sweat as he sends the car around, giving Roxy the shot that she needs. She doesn't hesitate to destroy the windshield of the SUV and take out the driver on top of it. Eggsy can't actually look for long enough to see the guy get run over, but he definitely hears it and lets out a victorious whoop that might be considered in bad taste, seeing how he's cheering someone's death and all. Still, it's just another day in the life of a Kingsman for him.
Of course, of course Merlin chimes in then and has to rain on his parade about the hand grenade idea. It's almost like he read his fucking mind, and it's creepy how he can do that. But fine -- they're doing well enough without the use of explosives.
At Roxy's question, Eggsy nods because she's right. Repeating a trick like that will only get them killed.] Just got to out-drive them, right? If I'm tight enough with my corners, we could get 'em to crash all on their own. [Or Eggsy could lead them off the edge of an overpass, if they can get up onto one, but that's probably treading too far into the realm of utterly ridiculous and unnecessary.
The next tiny alley that Eggsy spots, he turns at the absolute last second and then barrels down it at full speed. There is the risk that he'll crash instead, but he's going to trust that he's more practiced with this kind of driving than the people chasing them.]
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( she doesn't sound all that thrilled about the idea, and somehow manages a disinterested monotone mid-car chase. but it's their best chance without mass civilian casualities — and honestly? it doesn't look like their pursuers didn't seem to have the same reservations about the unnecessary loss of life, she heard quite a few screams from pedestrians as they went — and they'd have to roll with it, despite her trepidation.
they clear the first corner; all of them. there's another spray of gun fire against the back of their car, and after a rather put upon groan as inertia crushes down on them and flings roxy against the car door as the tires screech, she's unravvling her hand from the seatbelt and on the move again; clamboring into the back seat amoungst the shattered glass and bullet casings to reload and return fire.
and in some ways the back seat is better! back here, she can brace her feet against the seats and door and doesn't slide quite as much when they take sharp corners. ) A little tighter! ( she shouts back at eggsy, after their third wild turn has one of the larger vehicles skidding against a brick wall so severely that sparks flew. )
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(Then again, what could ever surpass his first mission? So many people tore each other apart even in the small amount of time that Valentine's signal was active. And Eggsy has been told that it would have been so much worse if he hadn't succeeded, but it doesn't always feel like much of a victory.)
Roxy's got a better shot at the pursuing vehicles in the back seat, but it also means that it will be easier for them to shoot her, and so Eggsy is determined to get this sorted as soon as possible. He hears one of the SUVs as it crashes into a wall, even catches a glimpse of the wreckage in his rearview mirror, but they've got a few more to go.]
I'm trying! [He hisses the words back to Roxy as he drives like an absolute madman, hands slipping on the steering wheel as he searches for another confusing maze of streets to tear through. Thankfully, London has its fair share of those. Soon enough he's whipping the car through a series of tight turns. Struck with a bit of inspiration from another car chase he'd been in, after rounding one corner he suddenly puts the car into reverse and floors it, sending them backward in the other direction down the alley.
If they're lucky, that will confuse at least a few of these idiots. It also puts Roxy out of harm's way for a bit, which Eggsy considers a plus.]
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it's jarring. roxy roll back onto the seat covered in glass (there's going to be an incredible amount of scratches and minor cuts on her forearms and face after this adventure; he might have some tendon damage with how hard he's clutching that steering wheel, and they'll both have some level of whiplash) and spends a solid thirty seconds trying to pick herself up and clambor into something resembling a sitting position. she favors eggsy with a look between reprimand — i had that — and disbelief. then sets about being her... not bossy, but vocal self. )
I'm running out of bullets.
( which would have been a significantly bigger problem if one of the last two cars on the arses hadn't hit something in their surprise of the change of pace. it was probably glass or sharp metal, because the tires go out with a loud pop, and they crash into a some heavy garbage cans. the last black vehicles can't get past, and immediately makes to reverse, probably circle around the block. it's a blessing and curse.
merlin rumbles in their ears about an extraction point, and roxy pants — ) Understood, sir. ( — and tries to navigate. ) We should get out of the city. Out of the alley and a mile west, Eggsy.
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Besides, if he's honest about it, this has been more than enough excitement for one night. His hands are sore and raw from holding onto the steering wheel so hard, but the pain is muted by the adrenaline coursing through him.
So after only a few seconds of hesitation, Eggsy nods at Roxy while looking in his rearview. They back out of the alley and he spins them around again so he can drive normally once more.]
West, is it? [There's a built in compass in the rearview mirror which Eggsy glances at to get his bearings before starting in the correct direction. He doesn't go too fast now, not wanting the screech of burning rubber to alert that one car still after them.
Once they're on a straightaway, he risks glancing over his shoulder at Roxy.] Didn't get shot, did you? [It's not like he'd been able to keep the best track of her during that whole mess, and Roxy is the type who wouldn't mention it until they were out of immediate danger.]
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there's a few more cautious glances through the busted back window for their friend, then roxy returns to the front seat with as much grace as she can manage and stares at eggsy with the appropriate amount of awe. )
Where did you learn to drive like that, anyway?
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A gunshot wound would be something they had to handle immediately, but anything more minor than that can wait until their debrief.
They're not out of the woods yet, but for now everything is calm enough, at least compared to how it had been a minute or two ago. Which must be why Roxy figures she has the opportunity to ask him a question. Eggsy keeps his eyes on the road as he answers.]
Had a few mates whose families owned cars. We... may have driven 'em when their parents were off on holiday. That was the start of it. I got some more practice during my marines training.
[Not as part of the training, mind you, but it had certainly opened up a few opportunities for him.]
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in the middle of a car chase and roxy is overcome with breathy, disbelieving giggles for about ten solid seconds. call it an inappropriate display of adrenaline now that she's not channeling her energy towards perfect kill shots and not dying. the threat of the last van is still very real and, logically, she knows that. but now that they can't see it and are being directed to make a break for the french countryside, it almost feels like they've gotten off. )
You could be a stunt driver for movies if you ever get tired of saving the world and risking your life.
( only irony's a bitch. )
But I imagine they'd make you wear your seatbe —
( they pull into an intersection and she registers the headlights behind eggsy's profile before she really hears what merlin is roaring in their ears. )
Eggsy, look — !
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Either that, or you die young.
His life flashes before his eyes when he registers that they're about to be hit, and there's nothing he can do, no time. He still does what he can, wrenching the wheel to the side to try and swerve out of the way, but it's impossible to completely avoid the collision as the SUV slams into the driver's door.
Eggsy does in fact have his seatbelt on, and that's the only reason that he's not thrown out of his seat, though his body does whip to the side from the impact.] Shit! [He slams his foot down on the gas, doing everything he can to get them the hell away from the other car. His head's ringing and his shoulders ache like he's most certainly pulled something, but he can't stop and catalog his injuries right now.]
Roxy! Stop them! Whatever it takes!